The hospital corridor smelled of antiseptic and stale coffee. I was trying to hold it together, crouched beside Betsy’s bed, telling her she was beautiful, that she wasn’t going to be like this forever, that she was going to get better. She looked at me with eyes that didn’t quite focus, words coming out wrong no matter how hard she tried. Lisa appeared behind me.
I could feel her exhaustion before she even spoke. “You need to go home and get some proper sleep,” she said. “I’m not leaving this room. ”
“You’re exhausted.
You’ve got an assessment today. ”
“I’m not going to miss that. ”
“Okay, we’ll stay for that, but then go home. You need to be your best self, Betsy.
Not your worst. ”
I snorted. “If I’m going anywhere today, it’s down to the station to report Dylan. ”
Lisa’s face went pale.
“Dylan? What about him? ”
“Don’t. Don’t report him.
”
“I have to. I have to. ”
She looked at me, hurt. “You didn’t have to sleep out here.
Fell asleep in front of the tower. ”
“Don’t have to pretend. I’m not. ”
“You are.
”
“I wanted to be in my own head, Sarah. Sleeping well and lying there wide awake, looking at you—I couldn’t do it. ”
I don’t think she knew what to say to that. Later, away from the machines and the beeping, she cornered me.
“What exactly has Gary got on you? ”
“What do you mean? ”
“I mean call logs, CCTV, messages. You’re going to need to get your house in order.
I’ve got a guy who can get your phone professionally scrubbed. ”
“Okay. ”
“Same needs to happen with Gary’s. Sarah, your life, your freedom is literally in his hands.
Do you understand that? ”
“I’ll speak to him today. ”
“Do it today. ”
It wasn’t a request.
Back at home, the breakfast table was tense. George was going on about reparations again—appropriate reparations, he called them, for my fraudulent actions. He’d been at it for days, ever since we discovered that Mary had been using my credit card to pay for things without asking. “Oh, not this again,” I said.
“What do you mean, not this again, Shuttleworth? ”
“I mean, I thought all this had blown over. ”
“So did I. Oh, of course you did, Missy.
A blowover is exactly what you were looking for. But it’s the exact opposite that you’re going to get. ”
I tried to smile. “Oh, it’s only Mary.
Poor old walk-over Mary. She’ll forgive and forget. In fact, she’ll lie down on the floor like a dog, belly up, tongue out, and just put up with it. ”
“Woof woof,” he said, deadpan.
“Look, I just think we should draw a line under all this. ”
“So I take it you’re not going to listen to my list of reparations? ”
“Oh, Mary. ”
“No, George.
I’m doing what’s right and what’s fair. But I take from your reaction that neither you nor she are prepared to negotiate. ”
He reached across the table and grabbed the cereal box. “What are you doing?
”
“Taking back what’s mine. ”
“Oh, for goodness’ sake. ”
“These are my Chalky Crockies. ”
“I thought we’d agreed that the cereal was communal.
”
“Oh, it was. It was. In the far-flung days of truth and honesty. But not now.
Not now that we walk upon the bedrock of illegality, theft, and fraud. ”
I couldn’t even argue. He had a point about the cereal. Mary had bought it with my card.
“Love, I have told you time and time again how dreadfully sorry I am,” Mary said. “What if I pick you up another box of cereal? ”
“Don’t you dare. And be warned—reparations are only just beginning.
”
Mary sat there, quiet. Her silence did more than any apology. Later, she found me in the kitchen. “Look, silly question, but are you all right?
”
“Yeah, I’m fine. ”
“Just that I’ve not had two words out of you since you came back from the hospital yesterday afternoon. ”
“It’s just all this stuff with Betsy. It’s messing me up a little bit.
”
“It is. Anything else gone on, has it? ”
I shook my head. “No.
”
“Okay. Well, it’ll just be the shock. Especially given she’s so young. ”
“Yeah.
”
“Listen, why don’t me and you go up the hospital later together? ”
“No, it’s fine. ”
“Well, I’ll be with you. ”
“She needs a family, Dad.
Not us. ”
I didn’t know how to tell him the rest. Not yet. At the hospital, the doctor explained the scans.
Betsy had had a stroke. It had caused aphasia and dysarthria—the part of the brain that controls speaking, writing, reading. There was also right-side muscle weakness, which was why she was slurring. “But is it the repairable kind?
With treatment? ” I asked. “With speech and language therapy? Most people make a good recovery.
Especially young people like yourself,” the doctor said. “Do you mean dysarthria? ” I couldn’t even pronounce it right myself. “In Betsy’s case, this is right-side muscle weakness.
The right side of the body, the face, and the tongue. ”
“Which is why she’s slurring,” I said. “Correct. ”
“So, honestly, Doctor—what kind of time frame are we looking at before we see the old Betsy back?
”
“You’re young, so we expect things to be pretty rapid. But everyone’s different. The right-side weakness won’t see her straight back to work, but there’s every chance of a full recovery. ”
I felt a flicker of hope.
“Thank you. Full recovery. ”
That’s what I told myself all the way home. A few days later, I was out with Roy.
We’d had a nice time—a wholesome second date, he called it. He was easy to be with, which I needed. “Maybe it was too wholesome,” he said, grinning. “Shall we move it up a notch?
Go to my bed? ”
“I’d love to, but I’ve got things to do this afternoon, I’m afraid. ”
“Are you sure about that? ”
I laughed.
“Put him down. This is a public place. ”
“Let them look. Let them be green with envy.
”
It felt good to smile, even for a minute. But the smile didn’t last. At the shop, I ran into Dev and his family. Joseph was struggling at school, and Dev was talking about moving him from Oakill to Wey.
I didn’t want to interfere, but I could see the worry in his eyes. “We are not taking out an 8K loan,” Chesney said when Dev brought it up. “All right. Can we talk about this later?
”
“Can you just imagine what the interest payments will be? ” I said. “Oh no, no. You don’t want to be getting into any of that,” Mary chimed in.
“I agree with Ma’am,” Chesney said. “Okay, okay. Can I just say one thing though? ” Dev said.
“You can say whatever you want as long as it doesn’t include the word loan,” I replied. “It just doesn’t seem fair ripping him away from everything he knows, especially when he’s already struggling. ”
“Yeah, but he’s a bright lad and state school’s not planet stupid, you know. ”
“I know.
It’s not about me being snobby. It’s about Joseph being settled. ”
“Dev, 8K is going to solve things for one term. What are we going to do about the rest of it?
”
“Wing it and pray. ”
I didn’t have the energy to argue. Not then. Later, I went back to the hospital.
Roy was there when I arrived. “Hi, Roy. Cara sent me off to sleep and I tried but completely failed. ”
“Hi, Lisa.
How is she? ”
“She’s got a really long road ahead of her. ”
“I’m really sorry, Lisa. ”
“Me too.
”
“Is she up for visits? ”
“Maybe tomorrow. ”
“Will you tell her that we love her, please? ”
“We’ll do.
”
He smiled. “Look at that. I’m glad that you can smile. ”
I looked at him, and something in my chest tightened.
“Lisa, has he told you yet? Has he? ”
“No, of course he hasn’t. ”
“Told me what?
” I said, my voice sharp. “Dylan. Told me what? Answer the question.
”
Roy hesitated. Then he said it. “He assaulted Betsy during sex. ”
The words hung in the air like smoke.
“Right. You need to stop right there, because that is one hell of an accusation,” I said, my voice rising. “Oh, it’s not an accusation. It’s the truth, isn’t it?
Isn’t it? ”
I looked at Roy, then back at him. “You liar. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Back off. ”
“Could I ask everyone to calm down, please? ” Roy said. “I doubt Betsy would want this matter to be discussed so publicly.
I can offer you my flat as a private location to continue your discussion. ”
“I’m sorry, Roy. It’s too late for a discussion. ”
“Lisa, I love her.
”
“Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare say those words. Love isn’t having your hands wrapped so tightly around someone’s neck that it caused them to have a stroke. Your filthy, sordid little hands almost killed her.
”
“I could not have caused that stroke. There’s no way. ”
“You strangled her. ”
“Jill.
”
I didn’t stay to hear more. I walked out, my heart pounding in my ears. Back at the house, Gary was waiting. He didn’t look happy.
“So, come on then. Let’s hear it. What’s all this about? ”
“Another dinner party, perhaps?
Because the last one went so well. ”
“Exactly. So, I’ve got a colleague that says Swan’s got serious suspicions. ”
“And you need to wipe your phone.
”
“It’s done. ”
“No, like professionally wipe it. I’ve got a mate in cyber security who can do it. ”
“Yeah, I bet you have.
”
“Gary, come on. Kit’s not messing about here. He’s trying to help you. ”
“So, have you forgotten who you’re speaking to?
I’m not stupid. He takes my phone, and the next thing he’s used it as evidence against me. ”
“That’s not what this is. We’re on the same side.
”
“No, you’re not. I want you to wipe your phone for Sarah. It’s just—look how you end up benefiting from this as well. ”
“Benefiting?
”
“Yeah, a bit of proper security for you, Gary. Because from where I’m standing, you’re going to need all the help you can get. ”
Gary stared at me for a long moment. “And I’ve got your word you’re not going to screw me over on this?
”
“As good a word as you can hope for right now. ”
He didn’t look convinced. But he took the phone. Back with Dev and Chesney, the mood had shifted.
Dev had pulled me aside. “Right, Dev and I have been talking,” he said. “Oh no. We’ve not set anything out yet.
”
“Yeah, but it’s never going to be good, is it? ”
“Okay, so Dev and I have decided we’re going to take out a personal loan to pay for the rest of Joseph’s school fees. ”
Chesney’s face fell. “No, you never have.
”
“Look, you can pay me back in your own time,” Dev said. “Like, actually? Dev, look, I’m not being rude about it, but you’ve got your own money stuff going on, haven’t you? ”
“Well, yes, I have.
But I get better interest with you. Take it or leave it, Chesney. But I wouldn’t offer it if I couldn’t see a way for it all to work out. ”
“Dev, no.
No. A push in the right direction is one thing. But this is something totally different. No.
Joseph’s going back to Webby, and that is the end of it. ”
“What? I don’t want to do that. ”
I saw the look on Joseph’s face.
He didn’t want to go back. I couldn’t fix that. I couldn’t fix Betsy. I couldn’t even fix my own mess.
Later, I saw Mary at the shop. She was trying to sell a lamp—one of mine, I realized, paid for with my credit card. “Mary, these aren’t yours to sell,” I said. “Oh, Christina.
For a woman with exquisite Farset-esque hair, you are incredibly stupid. As per my Chalky Crockies, these are mine to sell because they were paid for with my credit card. ”
“All right, Bethany, I’m very sorry, love, but it’s not for sale,” the shopkeeper said. “Yes.
Yes, it is. Get your hands off my—give it to me. Give it to me. ”
“Enough.
”
“Do you know what? I think I’m actually just going to leave it,” Bethany said. “No, Bethany. No.
Your whimsical lamp-girl aesthetic depends on it. ”
I took a breath. “Sit down. I said sit down.
”
But my mind was elsewhere. Back at the house, I found Dylan in the kitchen. He looked at me, guilty. “Is that true what Lisa just said in there?
Dylan. You need to talk to me. You’ve got to be honest with me. ”
“Sometimes I—during sex I—”
“What?
You strangle her? ”
“Don’t. Don’t say it like that. It makes it sound awful.
Abusive. ”
“What is it then? ”
“It’s consensual. Everybody does it.
We’ve seen it online. It couldn’t have caused a stroke because there’s no way. She was fine until the next day. I had nothing to do with it.
”
“Well, for the record, not everyone does this. ”
“How do you know? You haven’t got a clue. You’re never going to understand.
We’ve done this before and that never happened. I didn’t hurt her, and we both wanted it. ”
“Well, she can hardly consent when you’ve got your hands wrapped around her neck. ”
“Before.
I mean, we talk about it. ”
“Well, she can’t talk about it in the moment. She can’t speak up if it’s becoming a little bit too much. ”
“I wouldn’t hurt her.
”
“You did. ”
“I didn’t want that. And I didn’t want this either. ”
“Listen, listen.
We can sort this out. You’re a good kid, and I know that in my heart. And I know it in yours as well. ”
He looked at me, desperate.
For a second, I almost believed him. Then I picked up the phone. “I’d like to report a crime, please.
”
