I tried to follow him, but he wasn’t slowing down. He didn’t even want me inside his restaurant. “Look, am I in the doghouse here? I thought I was doing what you wanted.
You and me in business together. ”
“Where are we going? ” I asked. “Neutral territory,” he said.
I knew whatever happened, I could always do retakes. That’s what I said to him. He just looked at me and said, “I know you did, Papa. ”
I used to hate exam results day.
We had to go into school and find out how bad we’d done. All the smug kids sitting there going, “Oh, I got ten A’s and didn’t do any revision. ”
“Hark at the two of ye,” Mum said. “Just because you barely have a pair of O levels between ye, you think everyone else is as thick as two short planks.
Will is a clever lad. Cleverer than he looks, anyway. ”
“Morning, Al. ”
“Morning.
”
“Have you seen your brother? ”
“No. ”
“It’s GCSE results day, Al. ”
“You can always do retakes,” I said.
“That’s what I said,” Mum replied. “Oh, text me what he gets. ”
“You’re not going to hang around and fend for yourself? ” she asked.
“I’ve got prep to do. I’m already late. ”
“Yeah, but this is family. Will might need your support.
”
“Oh, it’s only some exams. ”
“Yes, yes, we know he can always do retakes,” she cut in. “You need to get your priorities straight. Here he is.
”
“Any news? ” I asked. Will shrugged. “Scraped a few passes and failed the rest.
Don’t even say it. ”
Dad put a hand on his shoulder. “Listen, son, we’re just proud that you even sat the exams after everything you’ve been through, all right? Everything’s flexible.
”
“Absolutely,” I added. “We can go down to school later to see what your options are. ”
“That Megan tried to wreck this family, but she failed,” Will said. “Dad’s right,” I told him.
“You’ve done good. It’s just the start of the big comeback. ”
“Yeah, you gambled with my money,” he shot back. “Well, technically, given that it was cheats, then it wasn’t a gamble.
And I’ve already transferred that five grand I borrowed back into your account with interest. ”
“You lied to me. ”
“Okay, well, yeah, that’s true. But I think you know what kind of man I was when we first got together,” I said.
“Oh, no, no. I’m a businessman. A winner. ”
“Well, then why didn’t you tell me what you were up to?
”
“Because I wasn’t sure you’d go for it. But look, I promise, I will swear on anything you want. No more lies from now on. All right, make the call.
Finalize the deal with Elliot. ”
“Elliot, you can check whenever you feel ready. ”
“Or we could just go to the school,” Will said. “Maybe a hot chocolate,” I offered.
“I don’t want to be missing out on anything from this. ”
“They won’t,” I assured him. “Sam gets his GCSE maths results today,” I said to myself. “My family come first.
Elliot, how are you feeling? ”
“I’m quite nervous. ”
“Really? Okay.
Right. ”
“Ooh. ”
“Yeah? ”
“I don’t know what to say to that.
”
“Well, thank you, Ruth. I really appreciate that. Cheers, thank you. Bye.
”
“That’s good. ”
“What? ” I asked. “Lucy’s social worker says that, well, we can continue fostering, at least for the time being.
That’s good news. ”
“Yeah, yes, it is, yeah. ”
“But that’s not why Ritchie wants to see me,” she said. “Well, that was probably going to happen at some point.
”
“What am I supposed to say to him? ”
“Just tell him you’re busy. ”
“I can’t hide from him forever, can I? I’m involved.
I have to go. ”
The next morning, I bumped into a woman on the street. “Excuse me. Do you know if this is the way to the old age club?
”
“I’m on my way there right now. ”
“Ah, I’m new to the area. My son starts year six next term. I was hoping he might meet some local boys his own age.
”
“Oh, how old is he? What school does he go to? ”
“Bessie Street Juniors. ”
“Oh, same.
I’m Lottie, by the way. ”
“Adam. After you. ”
Later, Will looked terrible.
He hadn’t come home last night. “Why is he staring at me? ” he asked. “He didn’t come home last night,” I said.
“I am still here. ”
“On a scale of one to ten, how drunk were you? ”
“Oh, six. Maybe seven.
”
“Too drunk to get home? ”
“Actually, I met someone and then stayed at theirs. ”
Then Celeste walked in. “Oh, hello again.
Are you busy? Because I’ve decided that you are the man that I want to help me design the best funeral this town’s ever seen. ”
“Uh, yeah. Yeah, of course.
”
“Hello. Hi. I work here and–”
“And I’m just leaving,” I said. “Oh, the barmaid from the pub,” Celeste said.
“That’s right. ”
“Celeste from Celestial to the Stars. And this is Fraser, my personal assistant. ”
“I’m her next door neighbor,” Fraser corrected.
“He worships me. ”
“I don’t. ”
“He’s proposed to me three times. ”
“He wanted to,” Fraser said.
“I just give her a lift. I don’t drive. ”
“I’ll wait in the car for you,” Fraser said. “Well, I might be some time.
”
“I’ve got a book. ”
“Well, why don’t you come over to the pub? You can wait there. We’ve got some very comfy seats,” I offered.
“Go on then, but no drinking. That doesn’t apply to me, of course. ”
I got her a coffee. “You know, it’s occurred to me that you haven’t actually said who the funeral’s for.
”
“My best friend. Me. They tell me I’ve got six weeks tops. So we better get cracking.
”
Meanwhile, things were moving with the restaurant. Elliot had his own conditions. “Actually, I’ve got one more condition,” he said. “What’s that then?
”
“Well, it’s for you. As co-owner, I’d like it written into the contract that I’m the senior partner with a 51% stake against your 49%. You know, just in case we ever fall out. Like over, you doing something without telling me first.
”
“I can live with that. ”
“Good. And we’ve got a deal. We know who wears the trousers in this partnership.
”
Back with Celeste, I was planning her funeral. “Horses, like with black plumes? ” I asked. “Well, no.
I was thinking more like a guard of honor with cowboys, chaps, and stetsons. Excuse me. Was that a snigger? ”
“Uh, no.
Just a sort of a throat. ”
“I know a snigger when I hear one. Don’t you look down your nose at me, Mr. Fancy Pants Undertaker.
I’m ready to spend a lot of money on this, and don’t let appearances deceive you. As Dolly says, it takes a lot of money to look this cheap. ”
“Who says that? ”
“I’ve made my stash.
I’m ready to spend. I may not have been the cleverest girl at school, or the prettiest, but no one works harder. Did you hear that? ”
“Yes, ma’am.
”
“And don’t let anybody tell you that this dying thing is easy, because it’s not. It’s a hard road. But ever since I’ve met you, I’ve thought, ‘This is the man I want to travel down that road with. ’ Am I right?
”
“You are right. ”
“Okay, then. Best crack on. ”
Later, at the restaurant, my last shift was approaching.
Someone came looking for Idris. “Actually, I was looking for Idris. ”
“Idris? He’s not here right now.
Can I help at all? ”
“Yeah, um, that fellow in the kitchen, does he work here? ”
“Ollie? He’s our new chef.
He’s very good. ”
“Really? Are you paying him well, then? ”
“Yeah.
We look after all of our staff. Can I pass on a message to Idris? ”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll give him a call.
”
Then Ritchie came to see me. “Thanks for coming,” I told him. “You okay? ”
“How’s Lucy?
” I asked. “She’s doing all right under the circumstances. What did you take her in for? Didn’t have to do that.
Means a lot to know she’s safe under your roof. ”
“She’s a good kid. Never meant to hurt you, Rachel. I really didn’t.
She could be violent. And I was her punch bag. She attacked me. I was just defending myself.
I had no idea it would end like this. ”
“Yeah, I had this wish I’d never sent you back. I feel so–”
“I told you what she was like. Always picking on me.
The rows, the shouting. ”
“I know. ”
“My priority is Lucy. ”
“Yeah, me and her.
”
Then he dropped the request. “There’s something else you could do for me. It’s not easy to say, but she’d been abusing me for a long time. Tried to hide it from Lucy.
Wasn’t the first time she’d attacked me. ”
“Well, that’s terrible. ”
“Not sure the cops believe me. Bloke abused by a woman.
Can you tell them what Rachel was like? Help me out. ”
“But I never even met her. ”
“I need to convince them I acted in self-defense.
I need to get out of here to look after my daughter. I need you to do this. Come on. You’re not lying, you know it’s true.
”
“Personally, because you told me. I thought you wanted to help Lucy. ”
“I do. ”
“So, what’s me going down for murder going to do?
”
“Help her. I just can’t lie. ”
“I’m asking for your help. You forced me to go back into that house.
Now, look what’s happened. Now she’s lost one parent and she’s about to lose another because of you. ”
“I won’t do it. ”
“You have to.
You’re family. ”
A waiter came over. “Everything all right, gents? ”
“Uh, yeah, sorry.
Everything’s fine. Isn’t it? ” I said. “Yeah, yeah, it’s fine.
”
Later, at home, I told Leanne about it. “He actually asked you to lie for him,” she said. “Yeah. And he got dead shirty when I said no.
”
“Why would he do that? ”
“I don’t know. He’s claiming self-defense, isn’t he? He reckons that just because you told me that Rachel was a nightmare, I should believe it.
”
“Do you think he’s telling the truth? ”
“I don’t know. I mean, obviously he’s worried about Lucy. She’s lost one parent, and if he goes down, she’s going to lose another, isn’t she?
”
“You thinking of doing what he wants? ”
“No. No way. ”
Then Lucy came in.
“Why didn’t you tell me you seen my dad today? ” she asked Leanne. “I didn’t want to upset you. ”
“Is he okay?
”
“Yes, he’s good. I mean, it’s a difficult time for you both, isn’t it? ”
“It wasn’t his fault. He acted in self-defense.
I’ve already told you, she went for him with a knife and she would have killed him. ”
“It’s all right. It’s okay. I can see you’re lying down, son.
”
Meanwhile, Celeste was busy with her plans. “Celeste bullied me into it to keep up the numbers,” Fraser said. “You’d be surprised, but Billy Ray Cyrus is not as popular as he was in the ’90s. ”
“Oh, I love karaoke,” she said.
“Oh, me too. ”
“And Celeste, she’s mad for it. ”
“She’s a force to be reckoned with, that one. ”
“Feel like you?
” she asked me. “Oh. ”
“Go on. Bet no one messes with you.
”
“I can take care of myself. And on the other hand, it’s nice for a girl to be taken care of. ”
“You’ve taken very good care of me today. ”
“Well, it’s been an absolute pleasure.
”
“I shall have to think of a way to repay your hospitality. ”
“Oh, driver. ”
“Please don’t do that. I love sitting at the front.
”
“I don’t. ”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m just a bit shattered.
This one has totally worn me out. I can’t keep up with young people these days. ”
“Are you sure you’re okay? ”
“I’m just a bit tired, but I’m better than okay.
Because I have found the man who is going to realize my dream funeral. Me and you. I might be on my way out, but I’m going to dazzle the world with my last ride into the sunset. ”
“You are?
”
“Going to make sure of it. Fraser, would you get the car out? ”
“It’s parked outside. Come on.
Nice to talk to you. ”
“Well, you know where I am. ”
“I do, yeah. ”
“Oh, let’s stop flirting with the barman.
Come on, take me home. I shall have gin and tonic, please, lovey, and a pint for this one. ”
“It’s just two ticks, two ticks. ”
Later, Fraser said to me, “I think I’m in love.
”
“I’ve told you once, I’ll tell you twice. I love you too, but it’ll never work,” I replied. “God, you big Nellie. ”
I gave him my number.
He texted me later. “You better text him, hadn’t you? ” Celeste said. “I want to know.
”
“You did? ” Leanne asked. “I shouldn’t have. ”
“You sure?
”
“I shouldn’t have. Oh, go on then. ”
“How did Sam seem to you? ” Leanne asked later.
“You worry too much. ”
“Well, can you blame me? After all that happened with that Megan, and then him and Will. You know, it’s a good thing she’s locked up, because if I ever saw her again–”
“Oh, she’d be in hospital.
”
“Uh, she’d be six foot under. ”
“Do you know what? I believe you’d do it. ”
“I what?
So be afraid. Be very afraid. ”
“Note to self, do not get on the wrong side of Leanne Battersby. ”
Then I got a call from a man who wanted his money back.
“Long time no see,” he said. “What do you want? ”
“You owe me for a lost gun. ”
“Your gun, not mine.
”
“I’m calling in the debt. Do you know Idris Nazir? ”
“What about him? ”
“He called me out at a poker game last night, and he’s going to pay for that.
”
“Not my problem. ”
“It is now. I want my money back. I’ll let you know what you need to do.
”
After he hung up, I tried to push it aside. Leanne asked, “So, are you going to make coffee? ”
“If I have a coffee now, I’ll be up all night. ”
“Mhm, sounds good to me.
”
“Yeah? ”
“Yeah. ”
I looked at her, and for a second, I almost let myself forget about the debt, the lies, and the man who was about to come after both of us.
