“Didn’t expect to see you,” I said, and Maria didn’t flinch. “I can visit my mate in prison, can’t I? Even if she’s a murderer. Oh, sorry.
Did I forget to say? Yeah, Garry’s told me everything. ”
My stomach dropped. I kept my voice steady.
“What’s he said? ”
“Don’t play that game, Zara. Just tell me all of it. How you killed Theo and then called my husband to come and clean up your mess.
”
I told her there were plenty of people who’d fall for my damsel-in-distress act, so why go for her ex. She wasn’t having it. “Garry’s a friend,” I said. “No, he’s your ex.
You’ve got a new fella now, so why not go and cry to him? ”
“Because Kit’s a police officer. I couldn’t put him in that position. ”
“Because it would mess up your happy little life.
”
I admitted I wasn’t thinking properly. She wanted to know why Garry risked everything for me—his kids, his freedom. I told her I didn’t know. She said the only reason she wasn’t jumping across the table and ripping my head off was the prison officer standing nearby.
“I can totally understand your reasoning for that,” I said. Then she went for my children. “Could your lovely little Sarah and Liam not do it? ”
“Maria, I’m sorry.
He might go down for this. ”
“He won’t. Your Harry might be used to a stepdad every month, but my Liam’s pretty set on Gary. ”
“You can hate me, but you say another word about my child—”
“Or what?
You going to ruin my marriage? You’re going to break up my family? Oh, no, wait. You’ve already done that, haven’t you?
”
I told her I panicked. If I could do it again—
“What about Theo? ”
“Just keep your voice down. You know I’m his alibi, don’t you?
”
I told her there was a world where both of them could go down for this. She promised that would never happen. “You have my word. ”
“Oh, the word of a cold-hearted killer.
Wow. Thanks. I feel so assured. ”
“I am never going to say Gary’s name, not ever, okay?
So you’ve just got to hope that you two sort this out. ”
“I think it’s a little bit late to start pretending you give a toss about either of us, don’t you? ”
—
Later, in the salon, I was booking appointments, trying to behave like everything was normal. Maria came in and made a comment about my friend’s hair.
We traded sharp words, and I ordered a drink with Kit, hoping for a truce. “Which daft bimbo made this drink? ” Maria snapped. “It tastes like dishwater.
”
I told her to call it a day, to go home. She didn’t want to. She said she’d rather stick pins in her eyes than talk about it. Then she said, quietly, “If she did do it, it would be self-defense.
”
I looked at her. “Are you really on his side? ”
“Kit, she called Gary, not you. She was in trouble and she called her ex.
That says an awful lot about what she thinks about you. ”
—
Kit came to see me. He said he might have been a tad insensitive, that he made things worse. I kept trying to push him away, to protect him from the fallout.
He wouldn’t have it. “You’re just going to put his life above ours? ” he asked. “I can’t drag anyone else down with me.
”
“You are Sarah. You’re dragging me down. You’re decimating my life. ”
“Not to mention Bethany’s and Harry’s.
”
“Why are you saying this to me like it’s brand new information, like I haven’t thought about my kids? Of course I have, okay? And it breaks my heart every time I do. But that doesn’t mean I get to destroy anybody else’s life to save my own.
”
“Sarah, I need you. I can’t lose you. ”
“I’ve lied to you over and over again. I think most people would say you’ve had a lucky escape.
”
“You don’t get to decide that. ”
“Kit, I’m letting you go. ”
“Well, I’m not letting you go. I’m not giving up on this.
”
“Just promise me you will stick with what we talked about. ”
“Fine. ”
“I mean it. ”
“I said yes, Sarah.
Just look after Harry and Bethany for me. ”
“Of course I will. All your family are helping out. Even Jodie’s chipping in.
”
“No, no. You need to keep that woman away from my kids. ”
“Sarah, I know you’re not the biggest fan of her. ”
“It’s not just that I don’t like her.
I’ve got a reason to hate her, because the woman’s dangerous. ”
—
Garry came home to Maria. They sat down to have a little chat, just the two of them. It didn’t take long for her to turn on him.
“Let’s have a chat about that stupid murdering cow who you put before your own wife and kids. ”
He said he didn’t do that. She didn’t believe him. She asked why he cared about Sarah so much.
He told her he wished he’d missed the call, but he hadn’t, and she was in a state. He had to help her. He’d have done the same for anyone he cared about. “Oh.
See? You care about her, don’t you? ”
“Yeah, as a friend. Not in the same way I care about you.
She’s an ex for a reason. Look, I’m yours. I’m all yours, yeah, forever. Unless you tell me to get lost.
”
She said they had a long way to go, but she wanted him to stay. He pulled her close. —
Harry wanted to see me. He was furious, desperate, ready to fight anyone who stood in his way, including Kit.
“I need to see my mom. ”
“You can’t do that, mate. You can’t see her right now. ”
“Move.
Kit, move out of my way. ”
“Listen, mate, I’ll make sure you see your mom the minute you’re allowed. Until then, it’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to rage at me, Bethany, and all the world.
But I can’t let you go right now. ”
“I want to go. I want my mom here. ”
“Yeah, we all do, mate.
”
—
And that was the truth of it. Everyone wanted me home. But I was in a cell, waiting to hear if my confession stuck, waiting to see who would believe me, and wondering whether the people I loved were safer with me locked away or with me free.
