“I keep telling you, it’ll blow over. It’s just the police thing. As if George would police anyone—he gets a cold sweat over an overdue library book. ”
The two men stood in the doorway of the shop, papers spread across the counter behind them.
Business had slowed to a crawl since the accusation had gone online, and neither of them could pretend otherwise. “Anyway,” his father said, forcing a brighter tone, “it’s your birthday tomorrow. What do you fancy doing? ”
“I’m easy.
”
“We know that. What about your birthday? ”
“On that note, I’m off. ” He grabbed his jacket.
“See you later, son. ”
“Yeah, have a good day. ”
He paused at the door. “Listen, I’ve not been able to get you anything yet.
I’ve used up my allowance. I was wondering if there’s any chance—”
“You want me to lend you money so you can buy me a birthday present, is that it? ”
“I tried to make it last, but I need new work shoes, and you don’t want me looking like the Littlest Hobo. ”
“I thought I was somewhere with you, isn’t there?
”
“All right,” his father sighed. “I’ll lend you two hundred quid. But that’s got to cover my birthday meal tomorrow and all. ”
“Thanks.
”
Later, in the back room, his father was still on about money. “If we had that joint account—”
“Look, I’m trying to help you get on top of your finances. I’m doing this for you. I don’t want to be doing this, okay?
”
“Then why are these cufflinks out? ”
“I’m building a shrine to him now. ” He scooped them up. “Oh, thank you.
We are not alone. ”
The phone rang. His father hesitated, then picked it up. “Hello.
Look, if this is going to be more bad news—yes, I am still here. ” A pause. Then his face changed. “The police have dropped the case.
Yes, no, I’m listening. ”
He put the phone down slowly, staring at nothing. “We’ll find it. Don’t worry.
”
“What if we don’t? That thieving get. I knew David had nicked this. ” His mother had blamed him, of course she had.
“Try the cupboard by the stairs. ”
His phone buzzed. Max. “Hey, how are you doing?
No, no, your dad and Shona are still at the hospital. I’m just taking Lily to school. ” A pause. “Yeah, the baby’s all good.
Yeah, all fine. ” Another pause. “Listen, Lily’s going to end up being late. Would you be able to call your dad on his mobile?
Yeah. All right, I’ll speak to you soon. Bye. ”
He hung up and turned.
“Have you found it? Your homework? ”
“Sorry, no. Probably left it in class or something.
”
“After all that? ”
“It’s fine. I’ll just tell him I forgot. ”
Later that morning, in the quiet of the house, a woman stood at the kitchen counter, phone pressed to her ear, one eye on the baby monitor.
“I’m writing an email, aren’t I? ”
Her husband came in with two mugs. “It’s nice that the baby’s bringing you closer. ”
“Can you imagine having time to go for a run?
I haven’t even got time to go for a wee in peace. ”
“You’ve got to stay in charge. ”
“Yeah, right. ”
“Don’t slam that door.
Don’t slam it, please. Thank you. ”
The baby was still asleep. “It’s eleven o’clock and we’re still in our PJs,” she said.
“Would you look at us? We look like Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street. ”
“Speak yourself. ”
“You heard it first.
”
“Just let her sleep, please. I’ll be quiet. I won’t wake the baby. ”
The front door opened.
“Oh, are we having a pajama party? ”
“They haven’t been to bed yet,” the husband said. “Well, that’s nice, is it? Right, I won’t keep you.
Sarah’s asked me if you could get these documents signed. ” A folder was set on the counter. “Have a little weep. ”
“She looks exactly the same as she did yesterday, Sarah.
”
“Just a quick one. Come on, Francis. ”
“Who’s sorry now? ”
“That was one of them.
You’ll be sorry. ”
“It’s okay. Leave it with me. I’ll get her back down.
” The baby stirred and cried. “Oh, half is fine,” the woman said, adjusting her grip. “We were just going to go to the canteen to get some food, you know. ”
“Why would I have your ABBA CD?
”
“It’s your guilty pleasure. ”
“I don’t feel guilty for liking ABBA. ”
“That’s what I said. ”
“I do not like ABBA.
I’ll see you in the canteen. ”
“All right. ”
“Okay. Right, should we count how many crocs we see on the way?
”
“I didn’t know my croc was at the doctors. I just need to quickly wee. I won’t be long. ”
“All right.
”
The day had turned bright. The man whose name had been cleared felt it lifting off him as he walked. “Hey, that’s brilliant. When people find out the police have dropped the charges, they’ll realize what a load of old rubbish it was.
And the phone will start ringing again. ” He stopped, breathed. “Do you know what? I feel like a weight has been lifted.
What is it they say? You never realize you were happy until you’re not. ”
“Tell you what,” his companion said. “Go and get us some sarnies from that Italian place.
That bread that I like. ”
“Those carbs. My body’s a temple. ”
“Hey, no church today, Toddicles.
We’re celebrating. ”
“All right, there’s no need for that. Very funny. Go on, scram.
”
“Hey, do you know what? It’s really good to see you with a smile back on your face. ”
“Hey, hi. How did Harper’s surgery go?
”
“Harper is Harper, your daughter, isn’t it? ”
“Yeah, yeah, that’s right. The surgery went well. We’re over the moon.
”
“I bet you are. How’s Tilly? ”
“We’re taking her home today. ”
“Oh, that’s great.
I’m so happy for you. You know, I’m so glad this has worked out for us. I was thinking about you all night. ”
“Ah, thanks.
Me, too. ”
“I can’t tell you how scared I’ve been about Harper. I’ll admit, I even said a little prayer. ‘Please, God, don’t take my daughter.
‘ It’s been worry, sick. It’s all we do as moms, isn’t it? We just worry. ”
“Yeah.
”
A pause. The woman at his side frowned. “Why are you telling this woman that Harper is your daughter? ”
“I don’t think that’s quite what I said,” the man said quickly.
“I think I’d best get on. ”
“Yeah, all right. Look after yourself, love. ”
They walked away, and the other man leaned in.
“Her mum’s got curly hair. ”
“What are you on about? ”
“Oh, come on. You must have heard that one.
Her mum’s got curly hair. I’m trying to tell you, very subtly, that that woman—well, she’s round the bend. Total fruit loop. ”
“Well, if she’s a fruit loop, what are you?
Why would you say you’re Harper’s mum? ”
“No, I didn’t. She just assumed I was Harper’s mum, and it was one of those situations where it was easier to go along with it than to—I met her yesterday, and I’ve been trying to avoid her ever since. ”
“From what I hear, all right, she hasn’t even got a sick daughter.
”
“Oh, no, no, that’s weird. ”
“Some people are just weird, though, aren’t they? All they do is lie. ”
“Well, she’s a fantasist.
”
“Exactly. Imagine having to lie to try and get people to like you. ”
“You know the sad thing, right? People like that, they just want to be loved.
And they always end up on their own. It’s twisted and lonely. ”
Later, back at the shop, the younger man tapped at his phone. “You’re good on that social media, aren’t you?
How do we put it out there? ”
His father was rifling through a drawer. “Nice cufflinks. ”
“Yeah, sorry.
I’m just trying to find a birth certificate. ”
“Is that there? ”
“No, no, no, it’s fine. Do your shopping.
It’s not like we’ve got much business here, is it? ”
“Which is why we need to let people know. But we can’t just put it on Facebook. ‘Everybody, I did not rob that old widow.
‘”
“I wouldn’t put it quite like that. It’s disrespectful to her family. ”
“No, I can see that. Jerry, that fellow that does the humanist funerals—he’s a terrible gossip.
Maybe you could drop into a conversation at the police station that they’re not pursuing the case. He’d be all over it. Tell everyone. ”
“Good work.
”
“Right, I’m just going to nip out for a bit. You’re okay on your own, won’t you? ”
“Yeah. ”
He walked out, and the phone rang.
A moment later, from the door: “Oh, I’ve got such a stomach tied. ”
“Hello, George Shuttleworth. What now? ” A pause.
“Right. Yeah, on my way now. Yeah, I’m coming. ” He hung up and sighed.
“Oh. More expense. ”
In the bright front room of a small house, two women sat over tea. “So, if she’s holding her head steady and she’s got good hand-to-eye coordination, then she’s ready for solids.
”
“You writing this down? ”
“Making a mental note of it. I have done this before, you know, Sally. I am a mom.
”
“Yeah, of one. ”
“I’m a mother of two—one straight and one lesbian, which is nice—and I’m a foster mother of three. And I’m telling you now, weaning is so hard because you want to feed them, but you don’t want to overfeed them. ”
“Have you got a blender?
”
“Top of the range, so. ”
“Good, because you don’t want to be giving them jars every day. Okay, what else? Bedtime routine.
”
“Once a week, whether she needs it or not. ”
“Well, every Christmas Eve. ”
“Not this year, of course. ”
“You know, you’re not even going to take this seriously.
”
“Sally, it’s half twelve and I’m just going to put some lunch on, so—”
“Oh, well, yeah, if you don’t mind. ”
“Not for you. ”
A long sigh. “Am I getting on your nerves?
”
“No. Maybe a little bit. ”
“I’m only trying to help you. ”
“What helps is if you go back and do the job I’m paying you for.
I’m not taking it. ”
“That’s better. ”
“Anyone fancy a brew? ”
“Oh, no.
”
“Oh, well, I know where I’m not wanted. ”
“No, it wasn’t me. ”
“How do you work with that woman every day? ”
The crying started faintly from the other room.
“There you go. We better get going. We’ve been here over an hour. ”
“Yeah, well, Carla’s working from home.
Sarah’s in a meeting, and Sally went AWOL this morning. We will have a word with her. ”
The pub was quiet, the afternoon sun slanting across the empty chairs. “Sean.
That’s my name. Don’t wear it out. What can I get you? ”
“The usual?
”
“No, I think I’m going to change it up a bit today. Tell you what, I’ll have a pint of mix, like me dad used to have. ”
“You don’t even know what a pint of mix is, do you? ”
“Of course I know what a pint of mix is.
South. My mouth bitter, isn’t it? If that’s not a metaphor, I don’t know what is. ”
“You all right, George?
”
“Tell you what, give us a glass of whiskey as well, will you, Sean? Want to join me? ”
“It’s a bit early for me, Carl. ”
“Mary, what can I get you?
”
“Dubonnet. A small one. ”
“A large Dubonnet for Mary, please, Sean. ”
“Is something wrong, George?
You seem a little bit—”
“But the police are definitely not pursuing the case. ”
“Yeah. No, nothing to do with the police. Everything’s fine.
Just fine. It couldn’t be better. Tell you what, make that a double, will you, Sean? ”
“All right.
We’re not busy. Only me. ”
“I’m sorry, Billy. ”
“Who are you talking to?
”
“No one. ”
“I’ve been trying to call you. Have you? You’ve been ignoring me.
”
“Oh, sorry. I popped into town to get you a present, and then I left my phone in the car. ”
“Oh, all right. I’ll let you off then.
Looking forward to this prezzie. Don’t disappoint me. ”
“I won’t. Anyway, I’ve got to get back to work, so—see you tonight.
”
“Yeah? All right, see you tonight. ”
“Same again, please, Sean. ”
“We haven’t finished that one yet.
”
The door opened. “Where are they, and what did you tell them? ”
“Just to get here quick. ”
“Hey.
Did you ever hear what Frank Sinatra said? ”
“You’re not going to sing, are you? ”
“He said he feels sorry for people what don’t drink, because they wake up in the morning, and that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. ”
“Avenue, it might be best if you just go home, eh?
”
“Avenue, it might be better if you shut up and pour me another drink. ”
“It’s four o’clock. ”
“Oh, yeah, we should definitely get going. ”
“We’ll be taking the mickey if we went back to work now, though.
”
“You’re right. The ethical thing would be to just stay here. ”
“Your round? ”
“Oh, here they are.
Hello. Ah, my two favorite women in the whole wide world. What can I get you? ”
“What’s up, George?
”
“What’s up, George? Sounds like Bugs Bunny. Hey, do you ever see that one with Daffy Duck? ”
“I think you’ve had enough, love.
”
“Hey, Michael, let me get you a drink. ”
“I—”
“Drink for Michael, please. ” He cleared his throat. “So, Elmer Fudd goes out hunting, right?
Bugs and Daffy keep swapping the signs around. Duck season, rabbit season, duck season, rabbit season. ” He laughed, hollow. “Only at the moment, it’s George season.
It’s not ducks or rabbits they’re hunting. It’s me. Just when I thought it was all over. ”
The evening moved on.
Two women stood outside a shop, one holding a bag. “Hiya. You all right? ”
“Yeah.
Well, have a look. I got this in the sale for Theo. ”
“Oh, it’s great. He’ll love it.
”
“Yeah? What have you got him? ”
“I’ve got to get my pal later. Leaving it till last minute.
”
“Oh, you’re so romantic. I’d hate to be your fiance. Where’s George? ”
“No idea.
I’m never complaining about anything ever again. Hell, George, you have a laugh. ”
“No, I mean it. We are so lucky.
”
“Yeah. Twelve people. ”
“Oh, it’s the amount of people involved in removing the mask. Yeah.
How many disciples did Jesus have? It’s twelve, wasn’t it? ”
“It was. You’re saying I’ve given birth to the next Messiah?
”
“I won’t put it past you. Seriously though, thanks. ”
“What for? ”
“For Harper.
She’s perfect, isn’t she? ”
“Well, she’s probably going to grow up and break our hearts into a million pieces, but—”
“No, you’re right. She is. She’s perfect.
”
“Are you crying? ”
“No. Well, the happy tears. ”
“Yeah, come in.
”
Later, in the hospital corridor, a man leaned against the wall. “You might as well get off, George. ”
“No, I want to stay. ”
“Oh, come on.
You’ve not even been to bed. ”
“It’s fine. You might need me. ”
“Well, you’ve done enough, haven’t you?
Look, visiting hours are over now anyway. It’s just parents. ”
“Yeah. Yeah, you get some rest.
Okay. I’ll see you. ”
“All right. See you later.
”
“Yeah. ”
He stepped out into the night, and the other man followed. “Hey. Someone’s been celebrating a bit too hard.
”
“Too hard, maybe. Too soon. Definitely. ”
“Not this afternoon.
Annie. She’s still taking me to court. ”
“You’re joking. ”
“At least it’s not the police.
Nothing will come of it. That’s what I’ll be left with. Nothing. If she wins, I’ll have to pay her costs as well as me own.
”
“Listen, I will step up. I’ll work around the clock so that you can concentrate on this court stuff. ”
“Do you know, I thought everything was going to be all right? More fool me.
I had this tiny little moment of relief before a great giant meteor came crashing down on me head. It’s the hope that kills you, isn’t it? ”
“Right now, you’re upset. ”
“All right, let’s talk about tomorrow.
”
“No. Nothing to talk about, Todd. It’s over. My dad’s good name.
Everything he fought to build over the years. This is the end. ” His voice cracked. “Sorry, Dad.
I let you down. ”
The next morning, a box sat on the kitchen table. “Why have you got Bernie’s head in a box? ”
“It was a joke.
”
“Yeah, you’re freaking me out. And why’s Bernie’s book in there as well? You haven’t shown anyone that, have you? ”
“No, not yet.
Listen, I took the book because I was sticking up for you. Someone’s got to. Your dad hasn’t shown he doesn’t. You won’t tell anyone, will you?
”
“I’m going to go in a minute. Do you need anything before I do? ”
“Is everything okay? ”
“Yeah, yeah, we’re fine.
We’re fine. Thanks. ”
“So we’ll keep this between us then, yeah? ”
“This is mental.
”
“Yeah, but good mental. You don’t want to get me in trouble, do you? I’ve always had your back, so you’ve got mine. Okay?
”
“Lila, you’re not going to tell anyone, are you? ”
“I’ll think about it. Right, I’m off. ”
He stood alone in the quiet kitchen.
“You okay? ”
“Yeah. It’s just been a long day. ”
“Right.
Well, I’ll see you later. ”
“Bye. “
