The glitter nearly took my eye out when I opened the card. That much sparkle, I thought I’d buried a fart in it. Still, a wedding’s a wedding, and I was in a good mood until I remembered the early bird voucher expired today. I’m praying you’ve got a table for me.
I’m obsessed with money-saving ideas these days. You don’t look like you’re saving anything by booking a table for one. How sad do you think I am? I’ll be dining with a hot date.
Is there one? She’s back. Oh yes, and she means business. Bring it in.
What a stupid, stupid day. I still can’t believe it, mate. It’s messed up. Imagine how I feel.
I was snogging the face off my own cousin. Right, put that in the never happened file, shall we? I’ve still got to tell me mum. Can you imagine how she’s going to react?
Honestly, I could kill him if he wasn’t already dead. Harsh. He’s the one who was always banging on about family. Turns out it’s all one big fat lie.
You wouldn’t understand. It was just as big a shock to you as it was to me. But once I got used to the idea, it’s been nothing but a blessing. I love having a big sister.
I’d love to find out I had a lovely handsome brother. Is he handsome? Look, I know you’re both trying to make me feel better, but it’s hard when the one person you want to have a meltdown with is dead and buried. If it’s a meltdown you’re after, call Grandma Liz.
Love, you’ve been on Dr. Google all night. Myotonic dystrophy. I can barely pronounce something that might kill me.
Ah, here she is. The original good time had by all. When did you know? When did you know that Jim, my dear old da, had this condition?
I heard it at his wake. That was the day before Ben’s heart appointment. Why didn’t you say something before? What did I know about it?
I’m not a doctor. Myotonic dystrophy, an inherited muscle disorder that causes progressive muscle weakness. The keyword there being inherited. Do you not think that was important information to tell his consultant?
That would mean telling me the truth, babe. We all know that’s not your style, Mum. I know it’s been a bit bumpy. Bound to be.
It’s just the excitement of being released. You can’t take a couple of days off to re-acclimatize? This is me re-acclimatizing. I can’t sit in the house flicking through quiz shows.
That’s not me. I want to get right back on the donkey. Get me hands dirty again. The staff can cope.
Maybe. But I can’t. Other husbands might feel offended if their wives didn’t want to spend quality time with them after so long apart. Yeah, but you ain’t no other husband, are you?
That’s why I married you. I’ll pop back later. There’s no need. Will you stop telling me what to do?
No, I think you’ll find that’s my line. Don’t be too long. Won’t. Love you.
Anything I can do, boss? No, no, I’m just catching up on paperwork. Oh, actually, could you do me a big favor? I promised Lou when we were in prison that I’d get Easter eggs for Brody and the girls.
Sally’s idea of Easter treats is letting them draw faces on boiled eggs. Nice. What do Kenzie and them get for Christmas? Same one in a shiny top.
So, do you mind nipping out and getting them for me, then dropping them round? Posh chocolate. Fine. Take fifty pounds out of the till.
I’m on it. I’m so late for work. Yeah, well, I’m not. Day off.
What are you celebrating by eating popcorn for breakfast? Movie marathon. You go on. Off you pop.
Skedaddle. Sharon’s at the hospital. Lily’s at her mate’s. First time I’ve had the house to myself in months, and I’m not wasting it.
What are you watching? I thought you were late for your shift. Well, if you’re late, why hurry? That’s what my dad used to say.
Was he an idle beggar and all? Yeah, he was, actually. So what’s on the agenda? First up, Avengers: Infinity War, hotly followed by Endgame.
Never seen them. You’ve never seen two of the biggest films of the last ten years? It’s all superheroes flying about, hitting stuff. Not really my thing.
It’s not just superheroes. There’s grandeur, emotion, sacrifice. All of that always gets ruined by Sharon or Lily asking stupid questions like, why’s he got that massive hammer? Sounds great.
What are you doing? Practicing me Polly voice for Roy. Shut up. Wow, that is a lot of chocolate.
Yeah, Debbie said to spend fifty quid, and I just realized there was a massive discount at Fresh Co, so I walked out of there like Willy Wonka. Can we have some now? No, you can’t. All that sugar, I’ll be peeling you off the ceiling.
You can have them through the week. Give the diabetes less chance of taking hold, won’t it? Oh, Tim. Don’t bring up metabolic diseases when we’re having a family moment.
Debbie said they’re from your mum. I thought you said Debbie bought them. Your mum was a very good friend to Debbie when she was staying with her. You can say prison.
It’s not a swear word. Thank you, warden. Sorry, Brody. You’re probably a bit old for chucky eggs now, aren’t you, mate?
My mum never said that. Easy. Right, come on, what do you say? Thank you.
Don’t thank me. I’m just the delivery boy. I better get back. Yeah, man.
I’ll see you out. Somebody’s learning manners. Slowly but surely. Right, you lot get dressed.
You can have one of these for your pudding when you have your dinner. To share. I was thinking, Tim. Have you thought any more about getting in contact with Tricia?
Crikey, that’s some segue, ain’t it? From chocolate to teenage sex. Well, I was listening to this podcast in the shower. You don’t need a podcast to know what’s going on over at road, love.
No, but this expert was saying you shouldn’t bottle things up. After forty years? That’s some bottling. Where are you going?
I’m talking to you. To set up an Easter egg hunt. Not going to give them this lot without making them work for it. I just can’t bear the idea of her walking around scot-free.
Billy, I’ll get you. I mean, what am I supposed to do if I bump into her walking around in stupid high heels? You’ve heard Debbie’s home, then? Yeah.
It’s outrageous. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling. I know what dementia does to people. I’ve seen it.
I’ve been on call-outs. Don’t drive, then. Especially when you’ve been drinking. If she was driving.
I need chewy. I’m being taken out for posh dinner after work. I want my breath minty fresh. Oh, hot date?
Surely. I love a bit of retail therapy. Enjoy. Look, I hate to push, but I just woke up to office hours and texts from Fiona.
Don’t worry, it’s all in hand. Because of the amount, they need to do checks. Money laundering rule, apparently. But I need that money.
Don’t blame me. Blame the money launderers. You’re taking money off her again? This is between me and Debbie.
That’s what worries me. Excuse me, I’m standing here. What I do with my money is my business. Now, go and see Ryan and ask him what your duties are for today.
Duties? He sacked me. Molly, can we have a word instead? I’m not giving you ten thousand pounds for Nance.
Huh? You can work it off. It’ll do you good instead of dossing about upstairs all day. Ten grand?
Wait, what is this? I was going to tell you later. It seems our Carl here, Mr. Action Man, has got himself into debt again with your lovely ex, Phoebe.
She wants to be paid back. Fiona. Come here. Can we talk about this a bit more privately, please?
Why? Worried your reputation might tank? That ship has sailed, son. Ten grand, though.
Please, it’s going to be fine. Like I said, you can work it off. Any idea how long it’ll take to go through? Let me think.
No. Shall I tell you why? Because I run hotels, not banks. It’s not often we see you in here.
Checking out the competition? Avoiding the family. Ah, that works too. I’ll have one of those, please.
It’s nice to see you two pal up, seeing as you’ve got so much in common. What’s that supposed to mean? Current landlord of the Rovers and ex-landlord of the Rovers, that was obvious, right? Buy me a beer?
I would have. Can I let you in on a secret? Tracy’s marrying Emma. Oh.
I was on my way to see you. The Rovers bought a bottle of gin. Anyway, I’m glad to see you because I need to talk to you about a condition with Dad. Myotonic dystrophy.
It’s old news. How do you know? Mum overheard someone at your dad’s funeral. I’ve just been to the hospital, let my consultant know.
That’s good. I may have inherited a degenerative disease because your dad fancied getting his leg over forty odd years ago. May pass it on to my own kids. Well, look on the bright side, I haven’t got it.
Aren’t you the lucky one? No, I mean, it’s not a foregone conclusion. Forget it, mate. Come on, Ben, we’re doing the male bonding thing.
We were mates before, weren’t we? Aw, you lost your playmate. Not in the mood. You or him?
Both. I’ve just seen Ben’s stool, Mum. Does he want me to talk things through? This is me we’re talking about, so naturally I made things ten times worse.
There’s loads of articles about teachers getting off with pupils. And not just teachers, other adults in positions of power. You’re only just finding out about this? It’s just after what happened with Will.
You’re obsessed. I’m not obsessed. What are you rascals up to? Nothing.
What’s it to you, anyway? Teenagers and gin mules. It’ll be a bottle of cider next, and then it’s all downhill from there. Be warned.
God, you lot are such a pair. You need to chill. All that Will and Megan stuff was prime playground gossip last week, but since Sunny Craddock let Ben Whitehead out to feel her up behind the science lab, it’s old news. What are you talking about?
Oh, it’s all right. I’ll just stand here on my own like a lemon, shall I? It’s dead dramatic, isn’t it? Mother reunites with secret son at her upmarket hotel after a long spell in the slammer.
Sorry, she’s a big fan of the old telenovelas, the Mexican one on streamers. It was a conniving little two-faced grifter. Enjoy. What?
Plot twist. I don’t reckon there’s much love lost between them two, is there? Figure that out by yourself. All right, sarky knickers.
So, you working here or what? So the boss says. Right, well, this isn’t working. This is drinking.
Well, I must have a shitty hour. Be sure to rope you on full-time then, eh? I know you prefer to keep busy. You know me, nothing like an honest day’s graft.
This is nothing like an honest day’s graft. So why don’t you go jump in the shower? I want you ready for a shift at half five in the kitchen. Yes, sir, Mr.
Manager, sir. I don’t like this any more than you do. No, I’m fine with it. If you’re going to work here, then just work, because it’s not hard.
All these smarmy little comments are getting really old really fast. All right, I’ll accept that. But you need to accept that I’m her son, which means she’s always going to put me before you, before this place, even herself. As long as you’re all right with that, we’ll get along just fine.
I’ll go take that shower and I’ll be in the kitchen at half five, boss. Look at him, out there looking for the last two. I put them in the summer house. You’ve got chocolate all around your gob.
Thought you were supposed to be outside opening your sister’s with the Easter egg hunt. Yeah, there I am. Just messaging my mates. These rumors about Will are everywhere.
I knew something was up after he smacked me when I hopped on that training session. Never mind idle gossip. Go on. What are you doing on that on a bank holiday weekend?
I know you said to leave it, but I wanted to find out a bit more about Tricia. So I’ve done a bit of research. Sally, I’m not going to track her down when she’s having a tea with her family and demand a showdown. You don’t have to.
She’s been made Fresh Co employee of the month. We just watched a film that really upset him. Oh, it happens to me all the time. What did we see?
The Avengers. I don’t really get why he got so upset. It’s not exactly The Lion King, is it? You know, where the dad dies.
A cartoon lion dies in that. Half the world’s population died in this. You need to sort your sense of perspective. So, if Debbie wasn’t the one driving, Carl was the only other person in the car?
From what I’ve heard, Abby would blame Carl for global warming if she could. It’s what ugly breakups do to you. So I should just ignore what she said? Look, if you want to go and chat to Ollie, just go through.
No, me and him, it’s not happening. I thought you liked him. It’s complicated. That’s an understatement.
Oh, baby, you’ve been referred to a specialist. You’ve not been handed a sentence. The consultant said your palpitations were probably down to stress. All your results came back normal.
I’ll accept the big one. If I haven’t heard it with Jim, then how am I supposed to tell the boys they’ve got to get tested too? What if it’s negative? They don’t even need to get tested.
I know I sound like Little Miss Sunshine, but if this hadn’t come out, you wouldn’t have even known about Jim’s condition. At least this way you can get tested, you can find out. You’ll forgive me if I don’t start a conga line. He’s just standing there playing with his phone whilst the chef’s waiting for veggies.
He never said owt to me. He wouldn’t, would he? Because he’s worried for his job. He should be worried about doing his job.
That’s enough. You’re damn right it is, Dad. Sorry, Dad, but that’s it. If he’s staying, I’m giving me notice.
Oh, for goodness’ sake, Brian. I’ve just offered him a job, that’s all. Yes, he’s a nepo baby, but that’s about it. He’s a snake.
He what? You are not going anywhere because you did a fantastic job here when I was away learning to knit. So, do you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to up your wages.
How much? I don’t know yet. I’ll have to do me sums. You didn’t have to do your sums when you transferred ten grand over to him.
Don’t tell him. Oh, I did, did I? And did he tell you it’s my money and I can do what I want with it? Well, it’s fair.
Now, how much more am I going to get? Not with that attitude. Hello, Cherry Square Hotel, manager speaking. Has that money gone through yet?
Yeah. You can forget that. I’ve already told you, keep out of it. I know, Ronnie, you don’t approve of it, but once he’s paid off this debt, he can start fresh.
I’ve just been to see Fiona. His debt was five grand. Not ten. Hey?
He’s fleecing you. Five grand on a debt and another five in his back pocket. He’s playing you, babe. After everything I’ve done for you.
I was desperate. Yeah, you’re not wrong there. Do you know what? We’re done.
I mean, camels and straws and all that. No, I had extra. Shut up. Please.
I can’t do this anymore, Carl. I can’t do it.
