“You can’t be serious,” I said, my voice wobbling. “What you can do is go into your bedroom and finish that painting you were doing for Granddad,” Mum replied, “while I check my messages. ”
“So you’re pulling a sicky, then? ”
I couldn’t believe I’d had a complete meltdown on my first day back.
As soon as one troll disappeared, another raised its ugly head. I couldn’t work out whether Truth Teller 2 was some sad copycat or if it was the same sicko. First Megan. Now me.
“You’re still in a strop, then? ” Mum asked. “No,” I said. “I mean, I can literally see it coming out the other ear.
”
There was no point in denying it. Only the true teller account could see those posts. “Because I know it was you,” I said. “You’ve been persecuting his father, his only parent.
You made me the target for vigilantes. At least do me the courtesy of telling me the truth. ”
“No, I would never,” Mum said. “I just wanted things to stay the same.
You then created Truth Teller Two. ”
“No,” I said. “On Bertie’s life, Truth Teller Two has nothing to do with me. You stay away from me and you stay away from Bertie.
”
Still missing. Later, I was still shaken when Daniel appeared. “Listen, I’ll let you both crack on. Oh, no, I didn’t mean to interrupt.
”
“You didn’t,” I said. “You change that, then,” he said. “What did that shoe ever do to you? We’re all out of small talk, then.
You only do big talk. Have a proper Jody day. And that’s usually Morse for working out for yourself. ”
“So, you’ve had a row, too, then?
” I asked. “I do,” Daniel said. “This is next-level messed up, do you know that? You might not remember it, but you sure as hell said it.
”
“Oh, yes, I do,” I said. “Not at all. Are you two pals? ”
“Well, then I hope it isn’t just a flying visit to Weatherfield,” I said.
“Oh, no, no, no,” Daniel said. “No, I’m not. ”
“Well, no. When exactly did I say it?
” I asked. “Well,” Daniel sighed, “you got into bed, and you kissed the back of my neck, and you told me that I smelled nice. ”
“No, lovely,” I said. “And then you said my name,” Daniel continued.
“And then you kind of jolted awake, which I thought was weird because you hadn’t been asleep. And you looked completely freaked out. And then you jumped out of bed. ”
“I believe that you don’t remember,” I said, “and no one will ever hear it from me.
”
“I’m getting it all wrong today,” he said. Later, at the pub, I ordered two pints of lime and soda. “Oh, do you think they’re missing me? ” I asked.
“Do you know what I’ve just worked out? ” Daniel said. “You don’t have to marry them, love, as long as they’re kind, funny, devastatingly handsome. ”
“If it isn’t the ironically named Truth Teller,” a voice said.
“Hey, you two play nice,” I said. “Do we get off? ” the man asked. “No,” Daniel said.
“He’s clearly very drunk and obviously stressed. The booze is doing you no favors. He’s not himself. ”
“Seriously, guys, I have no idea what he’s talking about,” Daniel said.
“Poisonous posts, inciting the herd to go after a single dad of one,” the man said. “And he’s got no proof, no evidence, just some mad hunch. I mean, I would never. Come on, getting Mooloolaba is not helping.
”
“He’s clearly very stressed,” I said. “Stay out of his hair, okay? ”
“But you’ve already warned Leanne to steer clear, and I’m not big as her,” the man said. “Fair, but the fans aren’t exactly ringing off the hook,” I said.
“Yeah, you still rather that I drop Megan as a client. ”
“Well, she’s not a good look for the practice,” Daniel said. “I never said dodgy, but yeah, he’d be a regular income. ”
“Now then, my Caledonian friend, is the verdict in my decent proposition?
” Daniel asked. “Dear folks, it’s not me, it’s you,” I said. “No mates rates, though. ”
“Huh, no problem,” Daniel said.
“Not too bad, was it? Do you mind if I sit? ”
“No deterioration,” I said. “Hey, if Lily asks him to sign swear words, he’s got to tell her no chance,” Daniel said.
“No chance. Not coming on doing a David done. ”
“We’re both under so much pressure,” I said. “I’m not so not filled with, like, I don’t know.
”
“All right, you star,” Daniel said. “No worries. What’s the babysitting job number two? ”
“I did a deep dive into those phone records,” I said.
“Thanks to all your hard work and determination,” Daniel said. “Yeah, they’re still pleased with her. ”
“No, baby Billy should be remembered,” I said. “It’s not, though.
No, I was thinking more the pound shop on Inkerman. ”
“What do you say? What do you know? ” Daniel asked.
“I cook my own food because Daddy won’t wake up,” a child’s voice said. “Have you still got a set of keys? ” I asked. “Why don’t you stay here and look after Auntie Tracy?
”
“Well, it’s a good job he came here because anything could have happened,” I said. “Uncle Daniel better not have burnt the place down. ”
“Give us a snog then and I’ll fetch the crisps,” the child said. “No, you’re all right,” I said.
“He’s not hurt you, has he? ”
“No, nothing like that,” the child said. “All the toys are out of the pram. ”
“Yeah, all right,” I said.
“I should go. ”
“Well, you’re best off staying here then, aren’t you? ” I said.
“Not going to lie, I was kind of hoping you’d say that,” the child said.
