I didn’t recognize the version of him standing in front of me. We’d been through the motions for months, me pretending I was fine, him pretending he cared. And now he was telling me he wanted to sell me half of Speed Daal. “Thirty-five thousand is a good offer,” he said, leaning back like he already had me beat.
“But it’s not a great one. I’m going to need a minimum of forty-five. ”
I laughed. “This is so much for being family.
”
“Yeah. And if you weren’t, I’d be asking for fifty. Come on. You’re still getting a great deal.
And you know it. ”
I didn’t know who I was looking at. After everything, after all these years of trying to hold us together, he was squeezing me for every penny. And I let him.
I said yes to forty-five. Then he left the next morning without even saying goodbye. —
We had all been pretending everything was normal. Tim wanted to take Lucy shopping for risotto ingredients, some echo of her dead father, and for a moment she seemed almost like a kid again.
“I like risotto,” she said quietly. “Me and my dad used to make it together sometimes. ”
“Why don’t you come with us? ” Tim offered.
“You can make sure we get the right ingredients. ”
Her face lit up for a second. I thought maybe, just maybe, we were turning a corner. Then the phone rang.
It was my mother. She’d been to visit Sarah in prison, and Sarah wanted to see me. In person. She wouldn’t say why, but she wanted me to come.
I knew what that meant. Sarah never asked for anything without a reason. And whatever that reason was, it wasn’t good. —
My brother was the one who told me I was making a mistake.
“Look, I know he only missed the phone call,” Kit said, standing in my kitchen with that self-righteous look I’d grown to hate. “But what if he misses something more important next time? All we’re saying is right now, Harry needs consistency more than ever. ”
I had a missing kid and my foster brother was grading my parenting like I was the one who’d walked out.
“What are you suggesting then? ” I asked. “That I help ease the load. By taking Harry for the rest of the holidays.
”
Fine. Whatever he thought was best. I’d do it. I’d do anything to keep that boy safe, even if it meant handing him over to the people who kept treating me like the failure.
But something else was eating at me. I’d promised to take Lucy shopping, and I couldn’t get out of it. Not without letting her down again. “I don’t think it’s fair that I can’t see my dad,” she said, arms crossed, voice hard.
“Lucy, we’ve been through this. ”
“But if it’s okay for Shanice and Joanie to—”
“It’s different for them. ”
“I should be able to at least speak to him. ”
“When social services say that you can.
”
“So, no. Basically. Thanks for nothing. ”
I understood her anger.
I understood it more than she knew. Everyone kept telling me I couldn’t have the one person I needed, too. —
I visited him anyway. Sarah wanted to talk, and I agreed to meet her.
When I saw her face, I knew it was bad. “Look, it could have happened to anyone,” he said, trying to comfort me. “Well, it won’t happen again. Last thing I want to do is let you and Harry down.
”
“Are you joking? You’ve not let me down. You’ve been amazing. ”
“Amazing might be pushing it.
There’s just a lot of things going on right now. ”
But he kept pushing. He was glad I asked to see him. He said he really needed my help.
“Help with what? ”
“It’s not what. It’s who. ”
He slid a photo across the table.
A face I hadn’t seen in years. And suddenly I understood why Sarah had reached out to me, why she’d chosen me. She wanted me to help take down someone. And when I realized who it was, I felt the room go cold.
—
She came to me with the plan. She wanted me to risk my career, my reputation, everything I’d worked for. “When I broke things off with you, I was trying to protect you,” she said. “Well, now you want me to risk everything.
And that was me thinking that this was about us. I must be certifiable. ”
“You did what you had to do. ”
“K, come on.
You know I care about you. ”
“If that was true, you wouldn’t be asking. ”
“That’s not fair. ”
“Since when’s life fair, Sarah?
I certainly didn’t get that memo. ”
So the answer was no. I told her to find someone else. She asked what she was supposed to do.
“I don’t know. Maybe Gary’s available. ”
“He’s a bigger mug than I am. ”
I watched her walk away.
Part of me wanted to call her back. But I couldn’t risk everything I’d built for a woman who’d broken my heart once already. —
Back at the restaurant, the celebration was supposed to be happening. I’d managed to raise five grand from my brother, who was hoping to get in on the deal.
“Five would be amazing. I won’t forget this,” I told him. “You won’t? I won’t let you.
”
We were toasting the future of the restaurant, but I couldn’t shake the look on Sarah’s face when she’d asked me for help. And then Alia, the woman selling me the share of Speed Daal, called. “Good evening to you and I. ”
“Sorry.
Evening,” I said, trying to sound normal. “I’ll have the money to you by tomorrow. ”
“You’re a star. ”
I told her not to tell anyone about the deal yet.
I didn’t want to jinx it. I didn’t want anyone knowing what I was really up to. —
That night, I decided to throw a private party. High stakes poker.
Strictly incognito. I couldn’t even tell Ali or Leian about it. “Why host the party if you’re not allowed to gamble? ” someone asked.
“That’s for me to know and you to keep your nose out of. ”
I had a plan forming. I’d been watching the way Alia moved her money, the way she played people. And I realized she wasn’t just selling me a restaurant.
She was testing me. Seeing if I was worth playing with at the big table. I was going to show her I was. —
Grace couldn’t stop thinking about what Sarah had asked her.
She kept replaying the conversation, the look in Sarah’s eyes when she’d said she needed help. “Who was that on the phone? ” I asked, trying to keep things light. “Nia.
None of your business. ”
But I knew it wasn’t Nia. I knew who it was. And I knew whatever plan Sarah had been cooking up wasn’t finished.
The next day, I got a call from Tim. Lucy was losing it again. He’d made her favorite meal, tried to reach her, but she’d just stared at the plate like it was a foreign object. “What exactly did you hope to achieve by that?
” she asked him coldly. “All right, I admit I’m at my depth. ”
“And whose fault is that? ”
“Everything familiar in that girl’s life has just gone,” I told him when I arrived.
“Everything that she thought made sense is now utter chaos. ”
“I realize that. I’m not stupid. ”
“Then you should also realize that a mushroom risotto isn’t going to fix it.
”
“So, what can fix it? ”
“Your guess is as good as mine. Time. Tons of therapy.
Unconditional love. ”
“So, there is hope then. ”
“Maybe nothing can. ”
“Please, I really need you with me on this one.
”
“Okay, as long as we both know we have to go into this with our eyes open. ”
“What do you mean? ”
“I mean, at the end of the day, Tim, you and I, we might not be enough for Lucy. ”
I watched his face fall.
He was trying so hard to save her, but the truth was, sometimes you can’t save anyone. Sometimes all you can do is stand next to them while they drown. —
The night of the poker party arrived. I’d organized everything.
No one knew who the guest of honor was. No one except me. Ali showed up early. “How you doing?
I haven’t changed my mind about selling off if that’s what you’re worried about. ”
“No, no. Thought never occurred. ”
“Or the extra ten grand.
”
“Don’t worry. I am all over it. In the meantime, though, I need a big favor. ”
“How big?
”
“Any chance I can use the restaurant for a private function tomorrow? I know it’s short notice, but I need to keep one of my backers sweet. ”
“Will have to be after the kitchen closes. ”
“Not a problem.
”
“That was easy. ”
“Well, the place is practically yours now anyway. ”
I smiled. Little did she know, the “backer” I needed to keep sweet was her.
—
The next day, I got an unexpected visitor. It was Bethany, Kit’s girlfriend, and she had that look on her face. The one that meant trouble. “Heard about the deal,” she said.
“Congratulations. ”
“Thanks. ”
“I also heard you’re going to have to come up with another ten grand. ”
I tensed.
“Who told you that? ”
“Doesn’t matter. What matters is, I might know a way to help you get it. ”
I didn’t trust her.
I hadn’t trusted her since she’d gone behind my back with Chip. But I needed the money. And she knew it. “I’m listening,” I said.
“What happens when you win big at poker, but you’re not supposed to be playing? ”
“Unless you’re hosting a game where the house always wins. Then you take a cut. Off the top.
”
“Not the players? ”
“Especially not the players. They think they’re playing each other. But they’re really playing the house.
”
“That’s risky,” I said. “Only if you get caught. ”
I stared at her. She was offering to help me fleece my own backer.
My own partner. And she was smiling like it was nothing. —
Meanwhile, I had a bigger problem at home. Kit and Jim were arguing about Harry again while the kid sat right there, listening to every word.
“All that kid knows is that his mom’s inside and she ain’t coming out no time soon,” Jim said. “Damage limitation’s all you’ve got, right? ”
“But you two and this bonkers tug of war, that’s going to mess with his head,” Jim added. “And you take it from a mother of five.
If somebody offers you a helping hand, you bite it off. ”
I could see Harry flinching. These adults were fighting over him like he was luggage. And no one was asking him what he wanted.
No one was asking him how he felt about his mother being gone. I pulled Kit aside. “Listen, it’s your call. Do it your way.
”
“What? ”
“Take him. For the rest of the holidays. ”
Kit’s face relaxed.
Finally, someone was listening. “Just keep him safe,” I said. “And don’t make him choose sides. ”
But even as I said it, I knew it was a promise I couldn’t keep.
Because everyone was already choosing sides. And Harry was standing in the middle of a battlefield. —
Then Sarah came back into my life. Not with a question this time.
With a demand. “You said no,” she said, standing in my doorway. “No is not really good enough. ”
“I’m really sorry.
”
“Sorry, my son. ”
She stepped closer. “Maybe there’s another way. ”
“There is no way.
And the sooner you get that into your thick skull, the better. ”
I slammed the door. But I knew she wouldn’t give up. Sarah never did.
And the truth was, I didn’t want her to. Because she was right. There was another way. And I was already planning it.
The poker party was set. The guest of honor was coming. And I’d made a deal with someone who wanted the same thing I did.
I just wasn’t sure yet which one of us would end up holding the blade.
